Winter.

15 12 2010

I sometimes like to wallow in nostalgia by leafing back through old journals that are the past prophecies for my own future.  It’s odd how the mind’s eye pictures the future so vividly; specific moments and events that will happen if I follow down a certain path, yet looking back I have gotten it all wrong every time.

Maybe this can be credited to the winter coming, and having been away from family and friends for so long.  But lately I’ve been more introspective than usual.  Trying to realize my angle on life; my niche in the world, but hitting a perpetual brick wall.

It feels like the times I walk to the bus stop with my headphones in, all the while scanning my iPod for something to listen to when before I know it, I am at the bus stop without having listened to anything at all.  Sometime this outcome arrives out of a desire to listen to too many things at once and my inability to choose just one.  Other times, including this one, it is from a boredom of everything I am seeing scroll by.

While I don’t really believe in such a metaphoric “bus stop”, or plateau that seems to drive many people through hoops, I sometimes feel like there is something more I should be doing.  Is this normal?  Does everyone feel this, or am I really missing something?

 

I believe a day is wasted unless I pay realization to, if at least momentarily, something that makes my life worth living, no matter how petty or small it may seem.  The past few weeks I’ve had difficulty putting my finger on such things.

But as I’ve said before and has proven true, this too shall pass as if nothing ever happened.

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